“THROUGH”

In coming up with a name for this blog, I was very deliberate and intentional about using the word “through.” I love the nuance of language and word choice. I found several definitions for “through” and picked out the following because they express best what I mean by going through grief.

THROUGH [preposition]

(Oxford Dictionary)

1) moving in one side and out of the other side of

2. continuing in time toward completion of

(Merriam Webster adds)

…used to describe movement within a place or an area (the italics are mine)

So, “going through grief” involves both movement and time. We’ve all heard the saying that “time heals.” Well, I’ve discovered that’s not entirely true. Time alone does not necessarily heal, but it does take time to heal. “Going through grief” also involves going in one side, and coming out another. Grief starts when I face a significant loss. Whether I want to or not, I am going to go “in one side” – and it’s going to change me. How I come out at “the other side” depends on how I spend the journey. The more I fight it – trying to avoid the pain by going around, under, or over – the longer I will be caught up in the struggle; eventually coming out bitter, defeated, and exhausted. When I am able to say yes to grief, accepting and riding the waves, and journeying “through” it, I come out of the other side changed for the better. Often, I find I am stronger, softer, wiser, more accepting; most importantly, my heart remains open, vulnerable, willing to keep loving. In the process, I learn that I can do this – I can go through what may have seemed impossible. I have found that allowing myself to be crushed and shattered by the magnitude of my grief, and moving through it, actually brings me to a place of strength and empowerment.

Blessings on the journey …through.

Greetings as I begin this project

Welcome to Grief – Going Through Grief.

I am offering this material in order to share some things that have been helpful to me as I have traveled the journey through loss and grief.

I think “through” is a key word here, because, as far as I know, the only way to get to the other side of grief is to go through it.  As desperately as I might try to somehow squeeze my way around, over, or under my grief, attempts to do that usually only prolong and intensify the pain.

There’s a quote by Winston Churchill that I love: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” I think this advice applies to grief in a very literal way. I hope something here will be helpful for you – or for someone you know and care about, who might be going through the process of grief.

Blessings along the way.